Reaching Goals through Relaxation

Throughout the process of becoming a skilled horseman, we often adopt various concepts, methods, and approaches. We tend to focus on what is effective for a particular horse in a specific situation at that moment. Put simply, when we possess a certain degree of self-awareness, we keep what is effective and discard what is not. This is a natural part of the learning and exploration process. The challenge arises when circumstances, the horse, or the environment change. What may be a successful approach with one horse may not work for another, and our capacity to adapt is not only beneficial but crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship with our horses.

I tell you all of this to say that I had that moment with my mare, Aspen, today. I had been experiencing an increased level of tension in her with each ride. She was becoming more reactive and spooky and less manageable (i.e., harder to steer in the arena or on the trail). She had certain areas where she would go and wouldn't go, and it even seemed specific to me riding her because when I had other people ride her, she was less worried.

So, what was going on and how could I go about uncovering it without taking it personally? Well, it certainly wasn't a perfect process, but I reminded myself that horses generally spook because they don't want to be where they are. In other words, they spook either outside of their comfort zone or when a change has occurred within their comfort zone. In this case, the arena itself was outside of Aspen's comfort zone, and my previous tactics of trying to bully her through pressure and release had not worked at all in building her confidence and had instead lowered her confidence in me as a leader.

You can't intimidate a horse into confidence. You can intimidate them into obedience, but not into confidence. I want confidence that leads to teamwork, not obedience through intimidation. I used to train through intimidation, and sometimes my old ways creep back in and get the better of me.

So what did I do? I kept it very simple. I'll share the process with you not the actual exercises so you can apply it using your own plan.

1. Approach the corner

2. Wait for change
   

   1. (wide eyes, head up, ears forward etc...)

3. STOP.

4. Wait for change - don't rush this part

   1. (lick and chew, sigh, yawning, blowing out)

5. RETREAT from corner

   1. Leave, go anywhere else

6. Repeat!

It's that simple. A little good old approach and retreat. I spent about fifteen minutes on it, and the rest of the ride we were able to work on my plan without the distraction of the scary corner! I had put off doing this for a SIX MONTHS because in my mind, it wasn't the "correct" thing to do and it's not always practical. Sheesh - us horse trainers really get in our heads sometimes. If this had been someone else's horse, I would have done this last fall. But because it was MY horse, I had a bunch of "should" statements in my head that limited my ability to problem-solve. There is a downside to every technique; this one takes a little extra time, but think about all the time I could have saved myself in the long run!

Always learning, forever humbled,

- Ashley Purdin